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seriously.
HE I S A FUCKING PEICE OF SHIT!
I'm in total shock, I don't even know what to do or say.
The guy I was talking serious with.
We were gonna start dating when I moved.
SATURDAY!
Called me and told me hes not ready to be in a relationship and told me he dlept with the girl he was talking to before me.
:(
ahhhh.
- Mood::'(
490 cals.
make me shitttt.
fuck my life.
:(
btw its almost day 2 of my 14 day fast.
(:
Today is day 1 of my 14 day fast !
CW- 164
GW1- 148
I just woke up at 1:00pm.
I'm bored.
I'm excited for this fast.
I can't wait for the plane ride..I'm like a little kid that like the most exciting part of moving. I can't wait to start cosmotology school either. (:
Good day so far.
Cig time.
xoxo
I always say the wrong things.
:(
like i wont be open or anything..
and then ill say something and it sounds so terrible and bitchy.
and i think i made him mad:(
ugh.
im up at 4:30
taking the GED in 3 hours on no sleep and a diet coke.
and maybe a NON fat yogurt for energy?
i think so.
its not a solid so ill let it slip for my liquid fast.
- Mood::(
- Mood:
tired
TODAY FUCKING SUCKS.
I A FAT PEICE OF SHIT!
:(
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
- Mood:
okay
From Today on I'm going to stay strong!! I am not giving in to food. NO NO NO!
I want to be thin again!
4-5 day fast starting tomorrow (tuesday) and after that I'm going to eat a small ammount of veggies. No more weight gain for me, Idc.
I feel sickkkkkk.
And I'm starting up another food diary.
It worked, I just got lazy.
and I need to excercize again!
But on the bright side I had an okay day..except for the fact I ate 700 cals.:( EWH never again!
But I finally went to school got to see my friends.
TWO MORE DAYS LEFT OF SCHOOL! WWWHHOOO(:
- Mood:determined
THE DIET MUST BE FOLLOWED EXACTLY TO LOSE 10LBS IN 3 DAYS.
DAY 1
BREAKFAST
Black coffee/tea, ½ grapefruit, 1 slice toast, 2 spn of peanut butter or small tin baked beans.
LUNCH
Black coffee/tea, 4 oz tuna, 1 slice toast.
DINNER
2 Slices any cold meat, 1 cup string beans, 4oz beetroot, 1 small apple, 4oz vanilla ice cream.
DAY 2
BREAKFAST
Black coffee/tea, 1 egg, 1 slice toast, ½ banana.
LUNCH
Black coffee/tea, 4oz cottage cheese, 5 saltina crackers.
DINNER
2 Slices any cold meat, 4oz broccoli, 2oz carrots, ½ banana, 4oz vanilla ice cream.
DAY 3
BREAKFAST
Black coffee/tea, 5 saltina crackers, 1 slice cheddar cheese, 1 small apple.
LUNCH
Black coffee/tea, 1 hard boiled egg, 1 slice toast.
DINNER
4oz tuna, 4oz beetroot, 4oz cauliflower, ½ melon, 4oz vanilla ice cream.
- Mood:
curious
I'm starting day one today.
Day 1: 500 calories (or less)
Day 2: 500 calories (or less)
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: Fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: Fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: Fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800 calories
32: Fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: Fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: Fast
- Mood:
depressed
I have been just super depressed all day. Just sitting in my room keeping myself occupied so i don't eat. I'm on day 2 of my fast. and jesus, I didn't eat and I GAINED 2 FREAKING POUNDS..WTF?! It's pretty f'n depressing.
I'm hungry but I can't eat I feel like a failure and discusting. Ugh today sucks. I'm in a terrible mood.
and I just need to let it out.
AHHHH
Sometimes I just want to give up everything and everyone and just be alone. I have a guy but sometimes it's just so overwhelming I just wanna escape I don't feel like I am good enough for him I feel like he will change his mind about me. Just thinking about it depresses me. I just hope when we meet in person his feeling don't change..idunno wtf I would do..):
okay I'll shut up now.
xoxo
really need a fasting buddy. I need someone to talk to. I feel discusting. I want someone to relate with.
xoxo
- Mood:determined
